I am as ready as I'll ever be but not without a long battle

Last year at this time I was debating whether to enter Ironman Arizona for my 3rd time, the first two times, the inaugural race in 2005 and my second Ironman/06 were held in the spring(April) where I did all my training indoors and pulling of what I thought were good races with a time of 14:04 and 14:29 considering the problems I had in both cases. But as they say if it wasn't easy it wouldn't be Ironman.

Since that time I did many more triathlons from sprints to half Ironman, including my last Ironman at Lake Placid in 2008 which this blog is titled after, "my Journeys since then".

My debate was do I want to do Arizona Ironman again? with the big answer YES! I love the venue and the climate! Plus Ironman Arizona moved it's venue to November making my training easier with having all summer and fall to train outdoors as it is ment to be. At this time things were starting to go my way. I did all of the last three Ironmans being in hard times with my wife out of work each time unexpectedly. So now is the time to sign up again with my wife working full time again and with us starting to catch up with our debt. So with her job secure now, I pulled the plug and signed up for Ironman Arizona 2010.

Now my challenge was to get myself into shape. My first Ironman I got myself into shape and started the race weighing 198lbs. then the following year I let my weight slip, I gained weight up to around 240lbs but got it back down to 210 for race day in /06. From the time of Ironman Arizona /06 to Ironman lake placid I again gained weight, mostly because of life stresses with my wife being out of work again and with my foot injury with my torn PF and wasn't able to run. I only managed to maintain a weight of 240lbs for the start of IMLP. but all things considered I was happy with that result on a very tough course on a very tough rainy day.

From before and after Ironman lake placid to now, I went through some emotional tough times to, coping with alcohol and depression. I continued on with my athletics, pursuing my diving in which I entered and won my masters age group division at the Provincial championships in 2009.

After my diving endevor finished for the season, I turned back to doing triathlons and my next Ironman which will be this Sunday. But with on going stresses, I gained a lot of weight sinking into deeper depression and drinking. That is when I decided I had to stop my over indulgence before it goes spiralling out of control, but not knowing how depressed I was when I quit drinking cold turkey on Jan 18, (which I have done on many occasions before when I felt I was over indulging,) I soon had a major set back! I had bad panic attacks or anxiety attacks and insomnia, something I have never faced before. I knew my drinking was bad but didn't realized it was that bad. I also realized all I needed to do was grab a beer and I would soon be ok, but I didn't! I didn't want to give into my crutch, which I soon realized my drinking was.

After not sleeping for two day's and turning out to be a total wreck, I quickly went to see my doctor. After talking with my doctor and soon realizing what was happening to me and finding out I was covering up my depression with alcohol. The doctor helped me with my sleep deprivation and prescribed anti-depressants for me to help me out of my depression. I snapped out of my depression within months and now was able to focus on my training and races.

As I beat down my depression, I put my focus on losing weight. My start weight was 265-270lbs thanks to all the over indulgence and eating I did to satisfy my need to cover my depression. Now on the right path I slowly started to lose weight.


Then another setback, my wife gets laid off again, just as we were getting back on our feet. But with this setback I continued with my training and weight loss. I did my prepaid races over the summer, but slowly our lifestyle was losing ground with the big cut in income. I started worrying again, will I be able to go to Ironman Arizona? All I could do was stay possitive and hope for the best.

Fast forward to now, My wife is still out of work, and up until last month I was sure I wouldn't be doing Ironman Arizona, but thanks to my daughter using her credit, I secured my flight and hotel, but still had to come up with money for travel to get my bike there and other incidentals? after selling a few prized possessions I had the money, but as usual when things get good, other things happen, and I had to use my travel money to pay for that. I can't win!! Why is doing an Ironman such a struggle for me??? Oh I forgot, if it wasn't easy? it wouldn't be Ironman! lol

I managed to scrape up the bare minimum cash this week for my travel,incidentals and to get my bike to Tempe and back. (Nothing like down to the wire in will I or won't I go? NO stress here!! )

Now here it is, come this Thurs morning. I drive to Buffalo for my fight out to Tempe AZ. My weight is down, not to where I would like it? but down to about 210lbs after losing 55lbs since Jan 18. I have the fitness, I feel strong! My bike is packed in a bike box that I was able to borrow from a friend, thanks Jamie, and my travel bag is packed and I'm ready to go, to become an Ironman for the fourth time!

Wish me luck!

:)